I was in my third year college, when I transferred school. I stayed in a dorm full of wonderful ladies. The year was fine, I get along with them so well. But again, maybe it just can't be helped, sometimes you will come across to a rough road. So back to my story, I was working on my thesis and I badly needed a laptop and the essential internet. Since my roommate have both of it I borrowed it for a while. I also don't have flat iron back then, I know I don't have a lot of thing I really need but I can't do anything but still, to borrow. 

        I used to borrow things I need because I thought it was fine since I don't usually borrow it, I just borrow it when I need it. I also remember texting my roommate early in the morning because she was still asleep, and I used her iron to flattened my uniform because my class is seven in the morning. Then one night she opened up to all of us. She talk to us generally but I know that she was pertaining to me. She said that it was unfair for her because it was her things that we used and her parents were paying for it while the others just borrow it. She also said that it was not right to used something asking permission in a text because she was still asleep and lastly she said that she can't use her things because others were using it. 

        After that meeting one of my roommates talk to me laughing and saying that it was all for me. Of course I know that, I'm hurt but I know that she has the right to feel that way. I remained the same to her, I talk to my roommate casually and the way we used to. I don't want her to feel that there's a gap between us. Even if I needed things I borrow it from other people and not to her anymore. I just don't want to feel that feeling again. That feeling that you pitied yourself because you don't have the things you need and end up borrowing. Maybe she felt I was abusive. That's what I think. 

       It was two years ago, so I still have that trauma of borrowing things. I was now in our province and I'm taking educational units. I am currently unemployed so I don't have the money to buy a new pair of shoes or a back pack. And so again that moment was repeated, that feeling I don't want to feel again. I was about to wear my sister's shoes because I will go to school when my mother interrupted me and ask me why do I keep on borrowing my sister's things. I end up not using it. 

      I choose to borrow rather than to ask them money for me to buy myself a new one because I don't want to cause them trouble. It's not that I always want to use things that were not mine, who would love borrowing anyway? But there will always be a moment that you will need to borrow something right? There are things that other people don't understand. They just keep on jumping into conclusions and judging you the way they see things. If it's unfair to them, don't they think I felt the same way. Completely hilarious.

     I know that I have nothing for now, but I know it will not be forever. The thing is, I wont let those events in my life to change who I am. I just don't want to pity myself for having nothing. That feeling sucks. I feel like the world is run by money or material things that if you don't have that you are a nobody, that you are worthless.

     I am just glad that I stumble upon into making a blog site. Because it serves as my diary, my diversion, my own little world where I can be the master and express my side here and my resentments. I just hope to see a rainbow soon :)

        I still clearly remember that day, it was in November 2011, at about 6 am in the morning. I knocked at the door to tell my mom the bad news. There was no answer, I knew that she already knew what happened and she's there at the other side of the door, silently weeping and mourning. She knew that Cheenie was already dead. Cheenie is our pet, a black dachshund who has been my mother's beloved dog. After an hour of gaining her strength, my mom went out of their bedroom, together with her favorite pink towel. She went outside where Cheenie's body lay and gently wrapped its lifeless body. We broke into tears. We buried her little body in our backyard.

      Time had passed and they came one by one. New dogs entered our home. First was Pandoy, a black and white Aspin, he is the smartest of them all. He is the one who guarded the house and he instantly barks whenever he hears something.


     Next is Beagle, a crossbreed of pug and beagle. Beagle on the other hand is the protector, he is so thoughtful, he is the peace maker of our dogs. He is the sleepyhead baby.


     Then came Tommy, our mini schnauzer, he is the sweetest of them all, he is always there tailing me wherever I go. He always woke me up with his morning kisses.


      And lastly Negra the pug, the youngest of them all, and since she is still a puppy, she is the destroyer, the litterer. (Don't blame me for the names, it was my mom's choice XD)

      They are our dogs. For the past years of their existence, they put colors to my life and make me change the way I see friendship. These dogs had been my companion. They always make me laugh, warm me with their bodies when it's cold, dissolves my stress away. They are my diversion. At hard times when I feel like I am lost, I talk to them, they are just there listening as I cried down, they never judge nor leave me. They never complain. They offer their little bodies to be hug giving the comfort I need. They might be a major headache but reminiscing those moments now makes me laugh. Even though they torn my precious project, divided my charger into two, send my undies in the front yard, stole our viand, chomp my favorite slippers and shoes, make my stuffed toy go blind and many more, despite of the mess they may bring to our house, I love them :)

      In this world, I am just a raindrop in these flood of people. I am just an ordinary girl, a nobody. But behind those big brown eyes of them, I am a somebody, I am someone special because in their eyes we mean the world to them. The four corners of our house is not only their playground, but to them it is their paradise. They gave me a reason to come home early because I know they are eagerly waiting for my return, that they are so excited to see me and play with me. 

         Good day Lovelins!!! As part of my Thailand Soaps haul. Here comes another soap, The AHA mix turbo soap. AHA stands for Alpha Hydroxy acid, a type of acid usually found in fruit, milk and sugar cane. AHA mix turbo is also infused with AHA fruit jelly, snail secretion, Vitamin B3, and Vitamins C and E which are good component for making your skin look better. I'm looking forward to this soap since of the many good reviews and the reputation of alpha arbutin as skin whitener agent. So here it comes :)

   

Ingredients: Actinda Chinensis (Kiwi) fruit water, Aloe Barbadensis leaf juice, Apha arbutin aqua, ascorbic acid, carica papaya fruit juice, fragaria vesca fruit extract, Glutathione, AHA, snail secretion filtrate, Royal jelly, Vitamin B3, Vitamin C and E, Glycerine, Lauric Acid, Niacinamide, Sodium Hydroxide, Stearic Acid, Tocopherrol

How much I bought it: I bought it for 50 pesos from Asian Vanity Shop

The product promises: 

How many times I used it: I used it as my regular bath soap.

How do I use it: I wash the soap first with water. Using a towel, i scrub some of the soap then I used the towel to scrub my skin.  I let the lather sit on my skin for about 5-10 minutes to let my skin to absorb it. I brush my teeth and wash my face while waiting. Then i wash the soap away with water.

Pros:

Cons:

Verdict: I rate this soap 2/5. It kinda disappoint me. I'm so much into it but it burned my face :( I'm never gonna use the soap since the soap is not suited for my skin type.

Recommendations: Avoid prolong exposure to the sun while in the process of skin whitening. Always apply sunblock.

       Welcome back Lovelins!! :) So this time I will be reviewing Vampire Soap from Thailand . When I first heard the word vampire, the first thing that comes to my mind is the movie " Twilight". I like it though :3 Their pale skin, their fangs and their incredible power and immortality. So a little trivia, there is a condition called vampirism which exhibits some of those features of a vampire. So much with the fuss, the reason why it is called vampire soap because of its red color which resembles to the vampire's food, yes you are right! Blood. But it is actually made from rose extract which is known for its potent to whiten and brighten the skin.

Ingredients: Ascorbic Acid , Citrus Aurantium , Amara Fruit Extract, Cocos Nucifera , Fruit Oil , Fragrance , Glycerin Olea Europape Fruit Oil , Sodium Cocoate , Sodium Palm Kernelate, Tetrasodium EDTA , Tocopheryl Acetate and Water

How much I bought it: I bought it for 50 pesos from Asian Vanity Shop

The product promises: 

 

How many times I used it: I only used it once a day as my regular bath soap. I used it for a month.

How do I use it: I wash the soap first with water. Using a towel, i scrub some of the soap then I used the towel to scrub my skin.  I let the lather sit on my skin for about 5-10 minutes to let my skin to absorb it. I brush my teeth and wash my face while waiting. Then i wash the soap away with water.

Pros: 

Cons:

Verdict: I rate this soap 4/5. I like it because somehow it whitens my skin and it is not harsh like the other whitening soaps.

Recommendations: Topical skin whiteners take some time to see visible results. Use it for a longer period of time. Avoid sun exposure while on a process of skin whitening to prevent skin darkening

       " The only permanent in this world is change" A saying that is always applied in my life. I am just a simple girl living a simple life.When I was a child I always dreamed of a better life, well that's the best part of being a kid. You don't really know the meaning of the word "problem". But things went out differently as I grow up. I realized that it's not the life I was expecting, That this world is full of struggles and competition. It is hard how you set up your figure in this society we live. How to be respected by other people. And how you will shine differently to this world.

       When I was in college, one of my professor let us watch Mahatma Gandhi's life then my whole point of view has change. Ever since I was a child, you can classify me as one of the weaklings. I don't know how defend my self or exchange spicy words with other people. I am someone who will be left speechless. I just let it inside myself. I put my feelings inside a jar and close it. There was a point in my life that my heart was stoned by all of those hurting words, that no word can wound me anymore for I am already numb. Yes this is the real world we are living. It is just like a moon, there will always be a dark side of it.

     But despite all of it, even now that I am older I still don't know how to fight back. I've realized that revenge will take me nowhere. If I fight back and I saw them hurt, will it make me happy? Does it make me successful? It just don't make sense to me. What I do is ignore all of the bad things they do to me, and still show them kindness and smile to them. When I am angry, I don't let it burst out because I know I might say something very hurtful and can't undo it. Patience is a virtue. I always tell myself that my patience should be a circle, so that it will never end. Love can change people. I know that if I show them some love and kindness, time will come that they will realize what they have done to me and they will remember me not for being bad. I know that there is no permanent in this world that's why I don't want to regret things that I haven't done when I still have the chance and the opportunity. I want to show my love to the people around me, spend some time with them and cherish every moment.
      I am still in the progress of creating a better version of me. People change and so am I. While I am still sojourning in this world, I know I will encounter many adversities and strife. I may be hurt again, be lost or be left by people whom I thought will stay with me. But this is my journey, this is my life. It is in my hand how I will make a rainbow out of it and how I will make it bloom. I will never forget to take with me a lot of patience, smile and love to share. 

   
                I know as time passed by, our preferences may change. The way we look, what we like or what we want, the way we prioritize things. But I always leave a room for improvement. How I make my self a better person. I realize that in order for us to love unconditionally, is not expecting something in return. That it is better to give than to receive or to love than to be loved. It is never too late to make a change, it is better than to be sorry. Do not be afraid to make a mistake in your decision, because it will be your teacher. And lastly, as Mahatma Gandhi said, you must be the change you wish to see in the world.